Oh why did you have to be eighty
Oh why so much older than me
Your flowers were delightful, intention more frightful
Your sweetheart I never could be
Why don't the men of my own age
See me through the eyes that you do?
Does dementia inspire your carnal desire
With the help of a cataract or two?
Go down to the Age Concern Lunch Club
To the girls with their pastel hue'd hair
There'll be Ladies galore, and you can be sure
You will find your valentine there